I was just playing around with words and the position they are placed in sentences in poems and how this placement affects the entire piece. Below I took one stanza of poetic writings I had (stanza 1) and it reworked in and often times reversed the order of words in a line to create and entirely different line and structure (stanza 2).
The pain of yesterday
follows quickly on the morrow.
The dew is unable to wash it away.
The rising, dawning sun cannot scorch;
it merely twists and ripples the water
leaving only traces of unfettered light.
The hum of insects permeates the air.
Gravel crunches, it sounds like broken glass.
Glass broken like sounds it crunches gravel
Air permeates the hum of insects
Light unfettered leaving traces only
Water ripples and twists it merely
Scorching. Cannot sun dawning rising
The Morrow quickly follows
Yesterday the pain of
Away it washes to dew unable to melt
What do you think? Is stanza 1 better or stanza 2? Does changing the word order, change the meaning of the stanzas or do they basically mean the same thing? Are the nuances important? Does the word by word structure have a big impact on the whole?
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